Navigating Queer & Plus-Size Birth Journeys: Stories of Empowerment

At Intimate Connections Doula Services, we believe every birthing person deserves to feel seen, heard, and celebrated in their full identity. For queer and plus-size families, the journey to and through birth can be layered with unique challenges and systemic bias, but it can also be a source of deep empowerment and joy when surrounded by affirming care.

The Gaps in Traditional Perinatal Care

Many LGBTQIA+ and fat/plus-size individuals experience medical systems that are not built with them in mind. Misgendering, fatphobia, heteronormative assumptions, and a lack of inclusive education among providers can lead to feelings of invisibility, judgment, or outright harm. These challenges can create emotional distress and mistrust in a time that should be focused on connection, support, and safety.

Birthwork Rooted in Liberation

As a queer and fat doula, I bring lived experience and an intentional commitment to liberation-centered, trauma-informed care. My goal is to support clients in a way that affirms all aspects of their identity offering tools, advocacy, and a steady presence throughout the journey.

Whether you're planning a hospital birth, home birth, or something in between, you deserve care that:

• Respects your pronouns and chosen family structures

• Holds space for your body exactly as it is, without pressure to change

• Honors your autonomy and decision-making

• Builds trust instead of fear

Real Stories, Real Power

I've had the honor of supporting queer couples navigating IVF, solo plus-size parents giving birth on their own terms, nonbinary birthing folks creating birth plans that felt aligned with their truth, and folks holding all kinds of identities. Here are words from real clients:

"Amber helped me navigated the healthcare system as a fat, queer, solo mom by choice. I cannot imagine my birth experience without Amber by my side. Amber is knowledgeable, gentle, grounding, fierce, comforting, and joyful. I am so grateful.
— Kaitie

She brings clarity, reality, and validation to whatever you’re experiencing, in a way that helps you to remember your worth and your rights— and to feel empowered to make your own decision. Any time I’ve felt unmoored, Amber has been there to provide grounding support and unfathomable kindness. To invite someone into your birth is intensely vulnerable, and there is no better human in whom you can put your trust than Amber.

-Shannon

Tools for Affirming Care

Empowerment starts with information and intention. Here are some ways to ensure your birth experience is affirming:

• Interview providers who affirm queer and plus-size identities: Ask about their experience, language, and their approach to care.

• Create a birth plan that reflects your values: Include preferred language, pronouns, and any sensory needs or trauma-informed considerations.

• Work with a doula who mirrors or affirms your lived experience: Shared identity isn’t always necessary, but affirming presence always is.

• Build a team that celebrates, not just tolerates, you: You deserve care that uplifts you.

You Are Not Alone

Representation and community matter. At Intimate Connections, our mission is to create a sacred space where all bodies, all identities, and all birth choices are respected. If you're navigating the path to parenthood as a queer or plus-size person, know that you are not alone and your experience is valid and worthy of culturally competent support.

Reach out to schedule a consultation or simply to connect. Let's build your birth experience around you not who the world expects you to be.